Today is the one day a year where we get to celebrate the death of God. Wheee! Atheists and Christians unite! Let’s take a look at how the holiday is viewed from both Christian and atheist perspectives:

On why it’s called Good Friday

Christian: Are you kidding me? All my sins got wiped out when that sucka got crucified. I’d call that pretty freakin’ good.

Atheist: Although it’s regrettable it had to come to torture and capital punishment, the world is better off with fewer religious zealots running around. Besides, no work today!

On reenacting the Stations of the Cross

Christian: By trudging a giant cross down a boulevard (or more likely just watching someone do it) we are reminded how awesome Jesus is and how un-awesome we are.

Atheist: A parade, giant crosses, and a man in loincloth? Is this part of the act with the Indian chief, the construction worker, and the cowboy?

On the crucifixion

Christian: Christ suffers so we don’t have to! And since none of us are Perfect, our sacrifices don’t have to be so dramatic (or gruesome).

Atheist: So is this rendering unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s or rendering unto God the things that are God’s [Matthew 22:21]?

On the best part of Good Friday

Christian: Oh, just feeling the love of my own personal God and how He could send His only Son (which is really just Him in disguise) to earth to be crucified on the cross thus saving mankind from eternal damnation by Him. I’m big into symbolic acts.

Atheist: The same. I rest my case.