Finally! The world’s two most popular and hilarious memes have been combined into one giant super-meme. Lolcats, those wacky pictures of cats with crazy ungrammatical and poorly spelled captions, gets mixed with the Bible, that wacky and crazy fantasy epic, to yield… the Lolcat Bible. Predicatably, the lolcat translation of the Bible makes no sense. This is predictable because the English translation makes no sense.

But let teh gud be happeh; let dem rejoice before Ceiling Cat: let dem be happeh. [Psalm 68:3]

Oh yeah, Ceiling Cat is God. So let us rejoice, fellow holy freaks, in a number of inspirational Lolcat Bible passages.

The Lolcat Bible can tell us how the universe was created.

At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz. An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin. [Genesis 1:3-4]

The Lolcat Bible can tell us about greed and evil.

Fur de wub uf cheezburgerz is teh rewt uf awl keyndz uf evul. Sum cats, eegr fur cheezburgerz, hav wanderd frum teh faith and peerced demselvs wif many greefs. [1 Timothy 6:10]

The Lolcat Bible has helpful sexual guidelines.

No can has teh dogsecks. No can has secks wif teh horse. No can do teh goats. Srsly. [Leviticus 18:23]

The Lolcat Bible can tell us the path to eternal salvation.

So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez ‘Oh hai I givez u me only kitteh and ifs u purrz wit him u wont evr diez no moar, k?’ [John 3:16]

Overall, the Lolcat Bible is hit or miss. It could use some quality control to ensure the translation is consistently lolcat and not, say, l33tspeak. Also, if you think you can understand lolcat, you should check out Proof of Ceiling Cat. It’s a rundown of many theological arguments.