In a controversial move, the newly elected president gave a huge inaugural nod to non-believers. As you might expect, this caused many God monkeys to clench in fear.

Change is on the way, comrades! Tomorrow Obama gets sworn in as the new President of the United States. Here’s the Holy Freak guide to the Presidential inauguration.

Who is your favorite Playboy star? Pamela Anderson? The Girls Next Door? The secretaries of Enron? Sure, sure, those are great but there is a new contender now, the Virgin Mary.

If you’re not a baseball fan, you might not have known that the Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series the other day. They beat the Tampa Bay Rays in 5 games. How did the Phillies beat the betting favorite Rays in a relatively quick five games? The Devil, as they say, is in the details…

American Christians love, love, love to say they’re persecuted. The argument is essentially “since we haven’t been able to establish a Christian theocracy, Christians are persecuted.” See here for the goofball details. The persecution is essentially opposition to conservative Christians imposing their political will on everyone. “Secularists” and atheists are blamed. I’m sure I’ll post about this one day. That day isn’t today. Today I’m going to write about Christians that really are persecuted. And guess who isn’t doing the persecution?

Oops, He did it again! God continues His glorious tradition of knocking up virgins but this time with a twist…

In the mighty nation of Nepal, the government there has chosen a 6-year-old “living goddess”, Reuters reports.

Fortunately in Nepal, the justice system recently ruled that the tradition of locking these goddesses up in isolated palaces was a violation of human rights. They were heavily protested for the ruling.

One day we will all look back to the days when you could take a 6-year-old and lock her up in isolation in the name of religion.

As all devout-n-practicin’ Pastafarians know, the average global temperature be inversely linked to the number o’active swashbucklers, as pro’en on this here chart by a Mr. Henderson. The good news be in ya scurvy dogs! Arrrg matey! We can all expect global temperatures t’be coolin’ any tide now.

This land lubber study only refers t’real swashbucklers. On accoun’ fer copystarboard violations we would be in another ice age b’now. Arrrr!

E’en tho I canna disprove the existence of the Flyin’ Sea Monster, I jus can’t make the leap o’faith. I hope I won’t be condemned to a giant bowl o’spaghetti sauce after I sink to Davy Jones’ locker.

Mayor of Fort Hill, South Carolina, Danny Funderbunk (his real name) got some press recently. Unfortunately, it was bad press…

According to the Chicago Tribune, Evangelist Tony Alamo has apparently long preached the “if there is grass on the field play ball” philosophy by proclaiming, “consent is puberty”. Perhaps the three scariest words in all of Christendom. I’m sure the parents are now thinking back to all the times when Alamo proudly proclaimed he’s “in it for the kids.”